This week I am looking at true renaissance man - Leonard Da Vinchy. Him what done the Moaning Lisa - that one what's the size of a postage stamp and you can't see over the heads of japanese tourists.
Leonard - "Leo" to his brethren was a bit of a bright spark. His mum what was single and lived in a council house, was well proud of her little boy. Not only could he draw loads of brilliant stuff in Crayolas - at the age of 5 he designed the very first My Little Pony and he made a range of designer clothes out of discarded fag packets, sack cloth and Pritt-stick. He was a marvel!
Leo soon became interested in women. He started painting the ones he fancied. He always went for the weird ones. Famous paintings of his exes include Moaning Lisa, Grumpy Ethel, Miserable as hell Margaret and the lesser known Slightly Annoyed Alice. He made a bit of dosh from his paintings - which he invested in a PC so he could design his greatest invention ever - The Heliconopter.
Later Leo needed to make some more cash so that he could buy cardboard and scissors to make his fantastic heliconopter invention - he took advantage of the hottest celebrity on the scene - the party animal that was Jeebus Christopholus - a Greek businessman, nightclub owner and pin up. He went to one of Jeebus' parties and painted the scene he saw. He sold millions of copies - posters, mugs, t-shirts the lot - all with the Last tea at Jeebus' picture on. He was well minted.
Sadly the success went to his head. He started drinking heavily - forgot all about his heliconopter and started scribbling in Crayolas again. He done a picture of an eight limbed dinkle man. It was well stupid cos the man had ladies hair. Da Vinchy lost all credibility. He moved to Benidorm to live out the rest of his days in a drunken stupor - doing crayon caricatures of tourists for a fiver a pop.
It's all a bit sad really. Maybe it's a lesson to us all? Don't sell out, don't date miserable women and don't draw 4 legged dinkle men.