The Ghost of Priory Park
Everyone knows the historical value of Priory Park, from the alleged football matches between Nuns and Monks, to the unwanted clowns that live in sacks beneath the surface, not to mention the recent 'Batman' sighting(s). So before it gets converted into houses no-one wants to live in, Sam (my spiritual guide) and I spend the night deep in Priory Park with nothing but a torch, a bivouac, a phone, a pen, two shoes, a camera and some other stuff. Below is my diary type thing of the nights events.
4.00 PM - Its still light, so I'll have a look around and find a place to camp. First thing I see is a tree with a ghostly face, just beside the octopus course. It's terrifying me!
4.30 PM - Think I'll camp where the old perv's lavatories used to be. Never know.
5.00 PM - Bit bored. I'll go out on my scooter for a bit. See what I can find.
5.15 PM - Just discovered a tree which has seen a terrifying ghost! The whole tree has been turned completely white...... with fear! Sam Says it's petrified. I'm going back now.
5.20 PM - Fell in some sludge where the swamp used to be. Where's the swamp gone? Absorbed by ghostly spiritual energy no doubt.
6.00 PM - Off to sleep. N' night.
11.55 PM - Just filled my undergarments. Knew that scampi was off. What a mess!
2.00 AM - What's that Sam? You need to release your residual energy? Yes,I need a wee too.
6.00 AM - A shadowy figure can be seen walking a dog, it's a man, walking a dog.
8.00 AM Home
Conclusion - Due to the terrifying face in the tree I saw on my arrival, and the other chalky white, petrified looking tree I witnessed deep in the bowels of the park, I conclude that Priory Park is indeed haunted. By dead tree ghosts.
If you have had an apparition, or think you've seen a ghost, tell us with an e-mail, StNeotsLiar@mail.com with Trev Monsoon in the subject line.
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Bob has requested no one parks across his drive this week as he's having a caravan delivered. Bob lives in Eaton Ford.